Crap Alert: A Horrible House

Remember when you were 4-years-old and tried to draw a house? Imagine if someone mistook that drawing for an actual blueprint and built your drawing.

That seems to be the only logical explanation for the home in the picture below, which is located on 700 East and appears to be a student rental:

A poorly designed house in Provo.

A poorly designed house in Provo.

Everything about this house is wrong. For starters, the windows are bizarrely small, oddly spaced, and completely irregular. There’s no symmetry or cohesion. The walls are made of vinyl siding, which is particularly bad here because they’re huge and uninterrupted. In my mind, even the most inept person could accidentally build something better than this.

Calling out bad houses as Crap Alerts may be a bit unfair because there are so many of them. But this one is aggressive, even exquisite, in it’s flaunting of basic design principles.

It’s also good to remember that these kinds of houses exist in our neighborhoods; I know in my case I tend to ignore them while I’m walking around, even though they certainly have an impact on the area. I conceive of my neighborhood as filled mostly with historic homes and apartment complexes, but really it’s much more diverse. Ultimately, this house likely drags down the value of surrounding buildings and reinforces the cultural divide in Provo between home-owning townies and (mostly renting) students.

All of which begs the question: who built this structure and why do we tolerate it? After all, our tolerance for crap must be zero.

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5 Comments

Filed under building

5 responses to “Crap Alert: A Horrible House

  1. haaaaaaaaaa! nailed it.

  2. Josh

    I disagree. It is a post-modern gem in the vein of the Vanna Venturi House.

    • Haha you would, Josh. At first glance I though with the right materials, owners, landscaping, and a hipper color palette this place could actually be cool. When I realized where this was I remembered just how crappy it is.

  3. I’ve been trying to figure out how this place ended up looking so crappy or at least figure out what it looked like when it was new. There are a few other houses on 7th East that have similar roof lines, off center doors, and are built at grade, but I’m not convinced this house came from the same breed. I was able to find some photos that show that the front part of the house is actually brick with wood siding and the back addition’s exterior walls were made from poured concrete. Why anyone would put vinyl siding over that is beyond me.

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